How to master your mood swings and live happier( Written by Dr Raymond Nusura Mgeni)

In our World we live the word “mood” is not something new to many. It is a popular word together with the word swing. They all form collective word mood swings. It is normal to hear someone saying that “I don’t have moods today”. It is a real tormenting experience and influence thoughts and reactions that can make a day to be a bad day. Sad moods have resulted to boredom, aggression and feelings of inferiority and irritability.

Moods are hard to define, but everyone experiences them in life times. They are all origins of mental processes. Sad mood can advance to depression, sleep deprivation and other detrimental experience such suicidal ideas and attempts. Sad mood depletes energy and lowers efficiency in negative facet. When someone faces changes in moods especially sad mood. It is hard to be optimistic and this makes harder to cope to work and perform with creativity and attention.

It is true that daily events can make us change our moods or impact us directly in our mood. Events like, a loss of loved ones, unmet expectations, breakups, work pressures and diseases stress. This variation of moods is not a good sign when moods are extremes affect ones task performance.

Humor strategy can be a good remedy to deal with moods oscillations. Watching comedies and having fun can make you humorous and help you to be in a good mood. When we say good mood , we mean the one that gives you optimism, satisfaction and high energy or vibe.

Engaging in physical activity can be a quick fix to depleted nervous energy. Use of muscles can relieve muscle pain and fatigue. Mild exercise not only help in blood circulation to the whole body but also works as a way to recharge your body. It restores your vitality and favors your rest.

In more advanced level dealing with moods can be strengthening with divine rituals like having faith to God. It has been reported to be helpful for many to restore their states of depleted nervous energy.  

To some occasion is advised to have a habit of writing down your experience when you are in disturbed mood which is called “writing therapy”. Keeping your journal about yourself when you are in those situations, it helps a lot to track your awareness and relieve stress or eradicate sad mood. Lacking of awareness worsens the state you are in a mood less moments. You have to stop and see yourself existing in a present moment. Living in a present moment can help you to overcome mood changes.

Avoid negatives environments and people who can change your mood. Their words can change your perspectives and your thoughts and affect your emotions. Negative words have negative effect on your moods. It can cause your see yourself depressed. Only listening positive words or messages can motivate you. Is only positive words can uplift you and make you feel energetic. You can feel encouraged by positive message rather than negative messages.

If you are interested in art. Have a routine to see the beauty of arts. Look pictures and colors that give you purpose. Look deeply from those arts you will see energy from within. It will give you high vibration that will make you feel motivated and a fresh spirit. Listening and reading poems as a way to gain momentum and recharge your mind again.

Listen to music as a way to change your moods. If you feel depressed or mood less. Just have time to listen soft music or instrumental music. It is not only good music to listen but is kind of therapy to your soul. Listening to music will uplift your soul and give you hope when things are hard for you. Just have a calm environment and pay attention to music you listen. Listen details from musical instruments, melody, music message. These details will give you energy and renewal.

Do meditate or maintain silence for a while. Silence makes you calm. When you maintain silence you keep your mind settled. This time will help you to gain clarity. This time keep away all distractions from you. Be you and stay alone in a silence mood. It will help and make you recharge your body and spirit. 

But if all fails, it can be a mental issue that need attention by mental professionals. If you fail to settle with mood changes. Doctors and other mental health experts are to be consulted. Life has to be lived well and enjoyable despite life has endless sufferings.

Dr. Raymond Nusura Mgeni

raymondpoet@yahoo.com

+255 (0) 676 559 211

Under the flowers, Above the stars

 

I choose to write a little about it today. Today, as I am writing this, it is my father’s 16^th death anniversary. Even though years could fly, even though you can somehow move on, death is not something you get used to. Losing a parent at a young age is something that creates a lifetime void which cannot be filled, a crack on the heart that cannot be fixed.

My father was a humble man, reserved but sociable. I learned also that he was kind, intelligent, wise and he had a great sense of humor. He loved Francis Cabrel, Adamo Salvatore, and his music taste was great. He knew many languages (by many I mean French, English, Ikinyarwanda, Kirundi and Latin) and he studied translation and interpretation in the former UNR( Universite National du Rwanda) .Few months (if I can remember well) after his graduation, he got a big job offer of translating the Rwandan constitution. That time he left home and went to Kigali, though I do not remember him leaving.

To cut this short, I remember my father coming back from Kigali unannounced (mama haven’t told us that he was coming, we were home and then we saw him coming). He was so weak, shivering and he had fever. I remember putting my tiny hands on his chest so as to stop him from vomiting! Mama took him to health center but since his condition was worsening, he was transferred to CHUB (Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Butare). Before going to CHUB, he called for me and said” Nova, urabeho” (Nova, Farewell).  I can vividly remember the look he gave me as he told me this, with sorrow in his big eyes.

Mama was the one who told me that father was dead. She came home crying and when I asked her why she was crying, she told me not to cry and that is when she said that papa was no more. As a five years old kid, it didn’t bother me. I only got excited because I knew that papa ‘s name was going to be mentioned on the radio, in those kind of announcements where families spread news of the deceased.

I remember hearing papa’s name on the radio and I remember burying my father since I am the first born. Mama told me that he was so peaceful in his last moments, that he was so calm and happy. He maybe was sure that he was joining heaven, I don’t know.

Nowadays, I hope that papa watches over me. I know that he is so proud of the woman I have grown up to be. He is proud of his wife, a brave and perseverant woman to ever walk on this planet. He is proud of my little sister who knows nothing about him except his pictures.  If I could have him back for few minutes, I could stare at him directly in his eyes. I know that he too, like myself, understands the language of tears and silence. His body now lives under the flowers, his soul above the stars.

 

Cameriere, champagne per favore.( Waiter, Champagne please)

 

My school journey had been a long one but I seriously do not know how it is just coming to an end. I don’t even believe it because even few years back when I thought that school was ending, that is when it started. I remember how I was that smart kid in primary school. I was always the first in class except for one time when I was the third in class. That time I was used to being the first (I am even my parents ‘first born) and I was so confident. Being excellent was something normal to me, I can proudly say that I was so intelligent. Things changed when I started my secondary school!! I thought I was going to be the first in class as I used to be but there were many intelligent students. That is when I became an” as long as I pass/don’t repeat a year” student. What I can say is that it always took me an end to realize the reason why I started. It required me my final years (senior three and senior six) to get serious and remember who I used to be,” that young and intelligent girl”. It was like I had something to prove to the world. It was like I had to let everyone know that lions never graze.

Car horns replaced soft melodies

I had to fight to keep my inner voice

My bread was kept inside hot furnace

Crying was not an escape, dreamland was no longer a wonderland

Helpless and clueless, I took a breath and murmured” que sera sera”

I saw water talking to fire, I saw life rising and setting in a blink of an eye.

I shook hands with terror, I danced to the music of time.

I befriended sinners and saints, I met smiling snakes and gentle giants

I filled my oceans with thousands drops, I sang my anthem at the 25^th hour of the day.

I vowed to keep fighting until the 61^st minute, I said hi to every early morning bird and late night owl.

I glowed as I was growing, burying them with smile.

I came, I saw and I conquered.

 

My university years were something else. As I have tried to say it in my poem” Veni, vidi, vici”, I came, I saw and now here I am conquering.

 Life was challenging for a seventeen years old me, who was about living in Kigali (Biryogo to be precise, yeah man mi people) for the first time in her life, far from home, far from everyone she knows, far from her comfortable life but through it all, I learned valuable lessons in life.

My school life taught me that living on good terms with others where possible is absolutely priceless. I have learned the value of friends because I befriended “sinners and saints”. I learned that you got to guard yourself jealously because you are all that you have. I learned to save and to spend. I learned to hold on a little bit tighter before letting go. I learned to be real and to pretend, all for the sake of something worth protecting.

Though I am still learning, cheers to all lessons I have learnt along the way.

Birds of the same feathers flock together

 Have you ever moved to a new place where you know no one and then suddenly you hear a friendly voice calling your name only to find that it is your old friend who lives there too? Have you been admitted to a new school in a middle of a term only to find that you know no one there? Heavens know how uncomfortable it is and how most people (including me) find it hard to adapt to that situation. In a crowd of strangers, finding one familiar face is like stepping on a bag of dollars.

Some say that you have not lived until you fall in love or until you love somebody. But I say that you have not lived if you have not even once in your life done some selfless act to a person, be it for a stranger or someone you know. You have not lived if you have not lived for others even once. Have you ever paused and asked yourself why you are not alone on this planet? Or why you are not the only human on this planet? This universe of ours comprises of billions stars and this planet of ours is inhabited by 7 billion people. This means that for every 7 billion problems, there are more than 7 billion answers. The reason why there are a lot unanswered questions and unsolved problems is that most of us are too selfish to work for common interests. Some throw foods in garbage cans while others cannot get even a spoonful of food. Some burn their old clothes while others shiver in cold. Though we may be a bit different (in personalities, skin color, religion…), our differences should not be something to make us hate each other. It should be something to make us love each other and celebrate each other. We all bleed, we all respond the same to some natural calamities and above everything, no one is going to get out of here alive! That alone should make us love each other.

Let us love one another and pity our fellow humans who may be in bad living conditions. You do not have to own a gold mine to give something to the needy! You only need a kind and compassionate heart. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you and since we are all birds of same feathers, we should flock together, fly together and fight together. Peace.

A letter to my son

 

I most of the time hear from my friends that our parents have raised us in a way that they should have not raised us in. Though they provided us with everything they were capable of providing us with (I salute them, they are real life superheroes), they made us scared and it is rare to be a best friend with your parent or guardian. In a letter form, I tried to show how future parents should make a difference and raise a generation which will at least be different from ours. Feel free to let me know what you think about this in comment section. Peace.

Dear son,

Welcome to this land, the home of beautiful sun kissed mountains and rivers. Mama had been waiting for so long to hold you and to kiss your little cheeks. Now that she is holding you in her arms, she can’t help but crying. Son, though mama has already decided your name, it is you who will define yourself as an individual. Mama is going to feed you from now, but the time will come when you will be the one to feed mama and others. Because of that, you will have to be responsible and to work hard and smart . No one will hurt you because mama will defend and protect you, but there will be a time when you will have to defend those whom you will love and those who will run to you for safety. Mama will teach you ABCs, how to think but not what to think and she will sing you to sleep, but there will comes a time when you will be the one to set a calm and peaceful environment for your loved ones. Mama will be strict sometimes but do not resent her for she will be working for your best interest.

Son, there will be a time when you will mess up and screw everything but let mama be the first one you will call because dear little angel, no amount of mistakes will stop mama from loving you and defending you. That does not mean that she won't scold you but trust me, in mama’s loving arms you will always find comfort.

There will also be a time when you and mama will misunderstand each other but son, mama won’t be always right for she too is a human. Though it is a hard pill to swallow, never let mama stop you from doing what your conscience urges you to do but be polite while doing so. Mama will always sing you songs of courage, kindness, bravery, love and compassion.

Oh my God, my baby is crying!!  Right now, mama is going to breastfeed you and you are going to stop crying instantly but there will come time when you will feel like crying, when everything will be boring and they will tell you that “big boys don’t cry”. Do not listen to them little love! Big boys do cry and it is absolutely okay to show your emotions when you are a man. Always stand for what is right even when it means standing alone and do not let anyone look down on you.

Son, mama prays that you find true love and once you find it, protect it at all cost for that thing is rare but it luckily comes to those who believe in it.

With love,

Mama A.

 

The Acquired Humanity Deficiency Disease( AHDD)

 

Have you ever thrown stones at chickens which were mating? (No one is going to laugh at you so you better confess😅). 

Have you ever wished that your classmate who were always the first in class gets sick so that he or she fails the test or exam (again, no one is going to judge you if you admit that)?

If you have been there too, enchantée, my name is Lise and I welcome you in this talk about what I called the Acquired humanity deficiency disease or jealousy to be precise.

Jealousy is a terrible disease whose causal agent are low self-esteem, low self-confidence. Jealousy makes a person compares himself or herself to others, wanting to possess every good thing that others have, hating people for their achievements and doing all of that without remembering that each person is unique. Jealousy is the root of all evil, stop blaming money!  what is so paining is the fact that people can get jealous for a person they don’t even know in person. It is so selfish when a person wants to acquire every good thing in the world, forgetting that he or she is not the only one who lives in it. It is terrible to hate a person just because he or she is succeeding (so fellow friends who have thrown stones at mating chickens, what on earth were we doing?😐😏😅)

Let me end this by telling you that lighting other’s light does not dim yours. Lifting others up does not always put you down. Supporting your fellow people’s hustle does not limit what you can achieve. Applauding your friend’s success cannot stop you from succeeding too. You are unique and the fact that there is only you in the whole world is a superpower. Do not ever look down on yourself, do not ever envy others but instead dream your own dreams, set your own goals, plan how you will achieve them and you will definitely get there. And please if you get successful, remember that my favorite drink is passion fruit juice.

 

A world within World

 A world within World.

With all of this terrible mess ,

Sirens and loud alarms,

Thorns and car horns,

Murder and rape,

Bloodshed,intense sorrow and depression,

Fake news , lies and heartbreaks ,

Son of man , why don't you die!?

Son of Adam, can you count raindrops?

Daughter of Eve,can you collect all drops in your container!?

You think that you can't and it's obvious but hear me out.

I wanna speak of a field called life, a field full of hidden treasures.

In the field called life,He planted uncountable seeds of hope.

He commanded it to fall,the phenomenal rain, where each drop make the seed of hope bloom.

He has engaged us in eternal treasure hunt , finding those seeds will keep us alive.

Son of man ,why don't you die?

What makes you hold on even  when things fall apart?

He made sure you were made with that awesome power, the power of creation.

From love you were made, in love you live and you won't feel alive until you spread love.

There's a world within our world,

There's a sweet escape to all this chaos,

There's a safe haven we can go to whenever we want,

That's a world of  love and hope, a world within world.